By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
