Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
