My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
