I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Boobs speak an international language.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
do nipples grow back?
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