even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
two words...techno handjob
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
