hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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