My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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