Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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