if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
