its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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