we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
