and you said cock pushups were impossible
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize