Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
