Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
