a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
