What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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