If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize