There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
