Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
