He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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