Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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