dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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