I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
organizing the empties. That sober.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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