So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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