What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
