So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
