I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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