life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
