if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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