dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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