so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
