If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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