Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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