She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
