with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
