I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
