rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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