I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
