we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
