he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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