The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
