While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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