And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
