just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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