my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.