Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

What?

(248): View more from Michigan

..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Details.

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(248): it cannot be done, he is unbreakable. (1-248): What? (248): <name>..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him. (1-248): Details. http://tfl.nu/v8u3

Replies (6) Good night (2064) Bad night (797)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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(215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m

Replies (17) Good night (564) Bad night (2391)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

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(304): i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me. http://tfl.nu/6um2

Replies (22) Good night (4116) Bad night (610)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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(724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s

Replies (19) Good night (6303) Bad night (853)
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(740): View more from Ohio

id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.

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(740): id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag. http://tfl.nu/yqo6

Replies (72) Good night (1353) Bad night (16294)
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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd

Replies (7) Good night (2611) Bad night (815)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'

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(630): I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..' http://tfl.nu/mj73

Replies (6) Good night (2894) Bad night (770)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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(402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3

Replies (4) Good night (2880) Bad night (1019)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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(828): I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since. http://tfl.nu/iexd

Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (1283)
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(630): View more from Illinois

At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone

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(630): At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone http://tfl.nu/tam4

Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (923)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time

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(724): Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time http://tfl.nu/5zkl

Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (1196)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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(920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb

Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (1048)
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(801): View more from Utah

Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.

(801): View more from Utah

International sake day = success

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(801): Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward. (801): International sake day = success http://tfl.nu/corh

Replies (9) Good night (963) Bad night (328)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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(708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk

Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (321)
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(936): View more from Texas

Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yup

(936): View more from Texas

I love us.

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(936): Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn? (832): Yup (936): I love us. http://tfl.nu/6mn5

Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (243)

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