Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  we have officially lost it.

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  (713): we have officially lost it. http://tfl.nu/v1jx
  Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (647)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

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  (908): im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis http://tfl.nu/pro9
  Replies (14) Good night (3584) Bad night (784)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  and?

  (514): View more from Quebec

  luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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  (514): so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother. (1-514): and? (514): luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne... http://tfl.nu/rdil
  Replies (48) Good night (4192) Bad night (938)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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  (414): so I ended up banging her last night (1-414): dude I remember her. You sure it was a her? (414): i don't even remember http://tfl.nu/73hr
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (3746)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.

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  (508): Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated. http://tfl.nu/vtpc
  Replies (40) Good night (1456) Bad night (3736)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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  (360): It feels like Jesse James cheated on America. http://tfl.nu/twcl
  Replies (22) Good night (4247) Bad night (1393)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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  (910): Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days. http://tfl.nu/nw4c
  Replies (10) Good night (792) Bad night (4439)
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1295) Bad night (4374)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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  (908): you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind" http://tfl.nu/r0zl
  Replies (4) Good night (2756) Bad night (853)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (6247) Bad night (1091)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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  (407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku
  Replies (7) Good night (953) Bad night (1847)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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  (403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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  (217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp
  Replies (9) Good night (3006) Bad night (761)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1138) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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  (458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269
  Replies (3) Good night (1074) Bad night (431)

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