Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Farmville is her only friend.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.