How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
