I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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