Do you still have your period?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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