dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize