I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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