Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
