I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he shaved USA in his pubs
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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