The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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