My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We're too hungover to prance.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
