Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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