I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
