Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
