I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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