Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
