I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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