We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
