When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
