i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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