im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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