tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
